"when you have a connection with someone it never really goes away. you snap back to being important to each other because you still are."

so that quote fucking scares me… it doesn’t apply to my life. but I think someone else can relate to it. and idk if that’s good or bad. I feel it’s bad mostly

dreams dreams dreams

I keep having these dreams about Clint surprising me when he comes home…. that’d be amazing. really amazing. lol 

i love surprises.

i really want this advocare stuff.

not being able to see you for the past 4 months has been horrible…

these next 7 months are going to be torture.
it’s been a tease only being able to talk to you through the words from our thumbs or facetime. but now it’s going to be even harder…

there’s a part of me that says I shouldn’t even complain. there’s a whole list of people that can’t talk to you either… but I just… idk…

you’re my only friend. my best friend! lol my go-to-guy yano? there’s no one else like you… no ones gonna be there anymore to pry the bullshit out of me when shit gets hard… I’m lost without you.

I’m secretly regretting how I left you the last time I was in California. I left so quick! I didn’t even tell you I loved you! what if that was the last time I would ever see you… it wasn’t enough.

I swear I’ll try to stop all this and be stronger, because I know it’s the same for you. it’s just really hard. I feel almost as if you’re leaving forever… and the worst part about it all is I’m not there to physically say goodbye and I love you if something should happen.
I promise I’ll be here waiting for you to come home to me when this deployment is over… and I’ll always still be there for you, even after.

I love you, always always


i need to stop watching HGTV… it made me look for houses around Fort Wayne and want to buy them…..